42 and subtracting!

It's been a while, not much has changed, except for my weight loss! I am happily past the 40 pound point, and heading for 50!

Although I'm overjoyed by my progress, I thought 42 pounds would feel like more. I thought my clothes would be a lot more loose by now. None the less, I'm still very happy with my progress!

I've got about three weeks left to the optifast shakes, then we start the transition back to food. I haven't been a saint over the past three months, I've cheated at least once a week. I've learned a lot from the cheats, mainly, I can't eat the same serving size as before.

I was always fixated on getting as much food as possible on my plate and my largest of the food groups was always the protein or the carb.

For the transition, I've decided to stop using large dinner plates, instead I'll use small plates. This will deter me from over eating. I'll concentrate more on filling up with veggies than starch, and I'll cut back on my fat consumption by choosing leaner meats and more fish.

The next 6 months will take a lot of work, the easy part has been the weight loss, maintaining is a completely different battle, but I'm ready for war.

Here's to the next three weeks, let's make it count!

I cheated

I've dropped the ball lately, probably because I didn't want to fess up to last weekends events.

Yes, I cheated....I had a lot of bad food eats and wine...the wonderful red, full bodied goodness, which comes with 140 calories per glass. I was well over the 900 calories optifast allows. It's done and now I move on...

On a good note, once I got over the sickness, I was back on track Monday morning. I've said it before and I'll reiterate, life will constantly be full of challenges, it's up to me how to deal with them. I will sometimes fail when it comes to food choices, but the most important part is getting back on track.

I will allow myself a bad meal once in a while, once the optifast routine is over, I just can't escalate.  I won't turn into two meals, then three, then a full days worth. Those days are over!

I stepped on my scales this morning, and I'm happy to report that I've made it into the 240's. Good riddance 250! You were always so hard to achieve, I'd get to 254, 256....then go back up. 250 was always my goal, since that's the weight limit for zip lining, something I've always wanted to do but couldn't because of my weight. watch out Humber valley Newfoundland, I'll be zip lining this year, you know it!

Happy Halloween folks! Wow, can't say I've ever celebrated a Halloween without the candies...so far so good!

Thankful....but still wish I could eat some turkey!

Well it's Thanksgiving weekend here in Nova Scotia and I'm drinking Optifast. The fact that I live away from family and close friends is the only saving grace this weekend, and my neighbors are all away. Social media, on the other hand, has been hard. 

As much as I want to be happy for everybody who's enjoying time with their families and great food, it's also driving me completely crazy!!!!!

It's hard enough being away from family during holidays, at least I've always had food to enjoy and help me cope with it. Today I sit here patiently awaiting 4pm, so I can have my next shake, while Gary makes turkey soup. We decided there would be no turkey cooked here, so turkey soup is Gary's fix. The smell permeating through the house...I have to keep telling myself, "this is three months of your life, get over it!" 

So I will be thankful for the sense of smell, at least that's one thing I get to enjoy!

One week down...

I managed to survive my first week on Optifast, but I wasn't completely faithful. I snuck a couple ounces of chicken and had some coffee and still managed to drop a couple pounds. This week I'm going to smarten up. 

The hunger was pretty bad the first few days, but it did pass. I didn't find that my energy was affected, I did get my regular walks in along with lots of playtime with dogs. I burned an average of 3300 calories a day and ate an average of 1250. 

I drank a lot of water, I mean A LOT! I found my mouth to be dry all the time, I may have mistaken it for dehydration, which caused me to drink 4x16oz with shakes and 3x24oz water bottle. That's over 4 litres of water. I was advised to cut back and try to aim closer to 3 liters of water. I'm hoping with this adjustment, I'll get better results next week.

Overall, I'm happy with the taste of the shakes as long as I add some cocoa to it. Here's hoping the chocolate ones arrive shortly. I add about 14-18oz of water to each shake to help dilute the sweetness and its artificial taste.

I'm 17 pounds down and counting....for this, I am grateful

Optifast...Optihungry

So I'm five days into my three months on Optifast. I'm not going to lie, it's been hard, but I I'm surviving. 

I have cheated a little, with a bite of lamb and a piece of chicken, along with a small ice cappuccino form Tim Hortons. I felt pretty horrible afterwards, both physically and mentally. Control has always been my problem and apparently I still need some help with it.  I must be doing something right since I was 15 lb as of last week, and i'm hoping to be down another 5 this week. 

I've been having my four shakes at 4 hour intervals, 8am-12noon-4pm-8pm. So far it's been working. I've mixed most shakes with approximately 14oz of water, and my last shake of the evening I tend to mix a little thicker, making it resemble chocolate pudding.

I've kept up my walking, the optifast doesn't seem to affect my energy levels, but I have been sleeping for about an extra hour. I normally sleep form 11pm - 7am, but lately I've been heading to bed around 9pm and reading my book for a little while before going to sleep around 10.

I'm very anxious to see what my loss is this week...hoping for another 5-6lb loss, finally securing myself a spot in the 250 range. I'm getting very close to my first goal of getting under 250...so close. I can't believe that next summer I'll finally get to zipline!!

I feel like I'm in prison and my time is almost done...the ability to do so many things is like getting my freedom! Bring it!

15 pounds down and Optifast starts tomorrow!

After a bad week including takeout, steak, coffee, and ice cappuccino, I lost 2.5lbs! I certainly made up for the extra calories with a lot of walking. We hiked and geocached all day last Saturday and on Sunday we completed a corn maze. 

Tonight we were given our Optifast and we reviewed the" what to" and "what not to" do items.

In celebration, I ordered takeout.....oh the irony!

I decided to have a meal before optifast started tomorrow, and I have to say I'm very much regretting it based on how I feel right now, and I'll spare you the details. The negative impact from this meal, both physical and psychological, will stay with me, and I hope this is the beginning of a broader understanding of healthier choices and why I should make them.

15lbs lost in the first four weeks, that's almost 5% of my total body weight! Can't wait to see how the next three months pan out!

Ever feel like the world is against you?

Blame it on PMS, blame it on food withdrawals, blame it on shorter days. Whatever it is, it's making me quite sensitive.
I know there's nothing I can do about other people's actions, except control my reaction, and it's never something I should take personally, but lately I've been doing both.

I'm new to self employment, my business is barely a year old. From the get go people were critical and negative, or at least that's all I remembered. What I should remember are those that supported me and still do.

On good days, the positive thoughts crowd me head, but on "sensitive" days, like today, I struggle to understand why some people try to tear you down.

Am I overreacting because a friend (or so I thought) never shares my business page but shares other business of the same nature? Is it a competition to her? Does she not want me to succeed?

Am I overreacting when a neighbor has stopped inviting us to her monthly get together? Did I do something wrong? More importantly, why do I care and let it bother me so much??

Are all these emotions affecting me more now because my clutch, which is food of course, is gone?

What I should be doing is thinking of those who've been supporting me, and support those who want to help others succeed. Forget the rest, my energy shouldn't be exhausted over negativity!

Onto food related topics, I did cheat a little today. I did exceed my 1200 calories, but I also walked 5k. Plus I really wanted to taste red meat before starting the shakes on Friday :)

Tomorrow is another day.  Stay positive, listen to positive, a push negative away.

Now go be awesome!

Another week down, a few more pounds gone!

This was one trying week. Rib competitions tasty treats and missing some walks.

I woke up anxious this morning, anxious to get weighed in. I had my mind set that I wasn't going to lose anything based on my past weeks temptations. I was very happy to see a weight loss of 4 lbs! 

It goes to show that even though there will always be temptation, I don't have to give in. Yes I had ribs slathered in BBQ sauce, yes I had chocolate cake, but that didn't stop me from eating healthy meals through out the day, and it didn't stop be from being active despite not having time for a walk, no excuses! I danced, when no one was looking, I chose the stairs instead on the elevator. One bad meal didn't lead to a bad day, I never let my small defeats defeat me. They happened and I got over it!

This will be my last week on 1200 cal/day, starting next Friday, it's Optifast, 4 times a day, and nothing else. I'm actually looking forward to it. I've noticed that I've started to stray a little on my food group allowances. The first week I was strict, last week, not so much. My three tsp of oils/fats may have reached 5tsp. My 7oz of chicken/turkey or fish became 10oz and I included pork, actually I just finished some pork.

My willpower will be a life struggle, but as long as I can learn to mange it, I'll be alright. The shakes won't give me the option to add more meat or fat, it's a shake, it comes form a packet, pretty simple! 

I'm at 264lbs and I'm hoping to be under 260 for the start of Optifast next Friday.

3-2-1 Go!

Week two ended on a great note!

Where do I start? I'm feeling great! This past week has had many challenges, but with it came amazing rewards. My blood pressure is down and at a great number, 120/72! 

I was a little nervous about stepping on the scales. Not because I didn't follow the meal plan, and not because I didn't exercise. I was afraid that there wouldn't be a change, and even though it shouldn't matter, it matters to me. I get quite defeated when I don't see the scales move and it's usually and excuse to say "the hell with it, not like it matters what I eat". Well it does matter and not seeing the scale change is much better than watching it go up. 

7lbs is a lot for one week, but cutting myself to a 1200-1400 calorie/day meal plan was quite a shock to the system, and I did expect a decent loss considering the amount of walking and activity I do in a day. This week my body will be more adjusted and comfortable with the limited calorie intake and my expectations on weight loss won't be so high. 

At 268lbs, I'm 8lbs from the number that I stall on, 260....for some reason I get to this point and fall off the wagon. I'm eager to get past this number so I won't have to revisit it ever again!

The group meetings are quite a help with motivation, everyone's dealing with the restricted diet in different ways, and it helps knowing that there's many different struggles when trying to attain the same goal. Some people had trouble staying under 1200 while others didn't. I had trouble with grains, and others had trouble getting enough meats. It's a learning experience, and I'm glad I have the support from a great group of individuals.

Cheers to this week, and bring on the next one!

Weekend conquered!

I was a little nervous about my first weekend on restricted calories, now that it's Sunday evening and can breath a sigh of relief, I made it! 

The weekends have always been my downfall when it comes to eating out, but somehow we managed to stay home for every meal, we even had the chance to cheat when in Bayer's Lake Saturday afternoon. I will admit that I did ave one sample while at Costco. Damn you sample people!!!! 

I was finding it quite hard to get my daily grain quota consumed and my meat allowance just wasn't cutting it, so I incorporated quinoa for supper this evening. I'm also going to try oatmeal for breakfast a few times this week. I've never been one for straight up oatmeal, so I'll try adding yogurt and berries to help with the flavor.

I managed to get a walk in everyday, easiest form of exercise, and it's free!

Now for some much deserved TV time. 

It's true, I'm not alone!

Last night was our second week in the program. We got to know each other much better and had a chance to share stories. It makes the journey a lot easier when you have so many people around you who are going through the same thing. They've all got the same story, too many yo-yo diets and quick fixes. We're all in it and for the next year, that's 365 days together...following strict diets and helping each other through the process. 

My 1200 calories a day has arrived! I was doing pretty good last week, I was able to keep my meals under 1200, but the 2 cream - 2 sugar coffees I was enjoying were adding up. That all ends today.

I didn't get the results I was hoping last night, only down 1.5lbs, but I won't dwell as it doesn't help at all. Today I keep on trying, that's all I can do!
I walked every day last week and plan on doing the same this week and every other week this year. I find getting out for a walk helps on so many levels. There's the obvious physical benefits, but there's so much. The quiet and calmness of being on a nice wooded trail, listening to nature. I some how manage to rid my busy brain and take it all in. It doesn't matter that I walk the same trail every day, go over the same bridge, pass the same house. Everyday is just as beautiful, not matter what the weather. Passing people on the trail and having a little chat, it just brightens my day! I feel more active the remainder of the day and a walk always helps me sleep better. These are all the things I run through my mind when I'm sitting on that couch procrastinating!

This program is just the beginning of a journey that I'm planning to continue for the rest of my life. Eating healthy is not to loss weight it's to maintain weight and stay healthy. This is the way it's going to be from now on. I won't always be on a 1200 calorie diet, but my food choices won't change, what I learn over the next year, like portion control, choosing the right foods, getting enough water etc,..that will remain FOREVER.

This is it

All the anticipation. All the excuses to eat bad and smoke more.

It all ends today.

Tomorrow my diet is 1200 calories a day.

No more double doubles to get me through the morning.

No more quick fixes at the fast food spots.

No more cooking indulgent meals 5 out of 7 days a week.

I've done all that I can to mentally prepare for this, the rest of my life starts now...

This gets better everyday

I started this week with a headache, and I felt constantly hungry. I'll admit I wasn't feeling very positive. I managed a walk everyday, but my energy levels were deprived. After four days of restricted calorie intake (1800 or less) and I'm feeling much better. Headaches have subsided and I'm feeling much more energetic.

I'm anxious for Thursday evening to arrive! I don't know if they'll be weighing us every week, but I'm hoping they do. I like to see progress.

I was reading ahead in the optifast binder, this coming week we'll be talking about journals, and how to write them. One approach is the gratitude list, you write about things you're grateful for everyday.

I'm already keeping an food journal via myfitnesspal.com, and I keep Daly notes on mood and exercise, as for getting my feelings out there, well I've never really been one for divulging on my life, mostly because I don't want to bore people!

If past life events have caused my weight gain, then yes I will stay a little more in tune with my food cravings and why I have them. Maybe it'll help get to the root of things and if writing things down helps, well I guess you'll get to hear all about it!

1200 calories.... Harder than I thought.

I've succeeded today, in keeping within my 1200 calorie limit, and man was it hard. This makes me a little worried, knowing that I'm  reducing it to 900 in a few weeks. I'm really hoping my body adjusts because the hunger pains I suffered through today wasn't fun!

For breakfast, I switched to egg whites, and lost the cheese in my omelette.

Lunch was leftover chicken and quinoa.

My afternoon snack included a coffee, a danette chocolate pudding and a few raw almonds.

Supper was half a plate of green, consisting of steamed broccoli and beet greens. A 1/4 cup sweet potato and 4 oz of boneless skinless chicken thigh.

Let's hope I make it through the night without a midnight raiding of the fridge!

Less than 24 hours before it starts

So here we go,

I've eaten every possible food that I know will be restricted for the next year. Pizza, Steak, Ice cream, wings....you get the point. I've got my armband charging and I've logged back into my fitness pal and updated all my goals.There's no going back now....wish me luck!

Here I go again...but with support

Cards on the table, I'm 37 years old with quite a few pounds to lose. Hopefully 75 as I weigh 275. What got me here, It's too long for this blog, let's just say that food has been my best friend through heartbreak, stress, celebration and boredom... 

I've decided after many failed attempts of weigh loss, to enroll in a one year clinical program. This program will get me on the right track to a healthy lifestyle, or so I hope!

I've spent the last week enjoying all the foods that I'm sure won't be allowed starting this coming Thursday. As I type, I've got a big pot of Jamaican curry lamb simmering....the aroma alone makes me want to dive right in!

The fact that I go to food for all emotions wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't spent almost ten years cooking. You name , I can pretty much cook it....Instead of driving around to find what I'm craving, I just make it. Worst decision ever was getting the ice cream making attachment for the kitchen aid.....Ice cream, my number one favorite sweet. Dairy is pretty much my favorite of all food groups, from cheese, to yogurt, and to top if off, chocolate milk.... I mean really, who doesn't enjoy a glass of that liquid gold! 

The closest thing to chocolate that i'll be enjoying over the next year, will be in the optifast shakes...I'm thinking it's not going to do justice...Oh well, mentally I've got to prepare myself for what's going to be a hard but rewarding journey.

This program, partner's for a healthier weight, starts Thursday evening. I'll be posting all my measurements weekly along with random rants, which im hoping this blog will be a bit of a stress relief.