Ever feel like the world is against you?

Blame it on PMS, blame it on food withdrawals, blame it on shorter days. Whatever it is, it's making me quite sensitive.
I know there's nothing I can do about other people's actions, except control my reaction, and it's never something I should take personally, but lately I've been doing both.

I'm new to self employment, my business is barely a year old. From the get go people were critical and negative, or at least that's all I remembered. What I should remember are those that supported me and still do.

On good days, the positive thoughts crowd me head, but on "sensitive" days, like today, I struggle to understand why some people try to tear you down.

Am I overreacting because a friend (or so I thought) never shares my business page but shares other business of the same nature? Is it a competition to her? Does she not want me to succeed?

Am I overreacting when a neighbor has stopped inviting us to her monthly get together? Did I do something wrong? More importantly, why do I care and let it bother me so much??

Are all these emotions affecting me more now because my clutch, which is food of course, is gone?

What I should be doing is thinking of those who've been supporting me, and support those who want to help others succeed. Forget the rest, my energy shouldn't be exhausted over negativity!

Onto food related topics, I did cheat a little today. I did exceed my 1200 calories, but I also walked 5k. Plus I really wanted to taste red meat before starting the shakes on Friday :)

Tomorrow is another day.  Stay positive, listen to positive, a push negative away.

Now go be awesome!

Another week down, a few more pounds gone!

This was one trying week. Rib competitions tasty treats and missing some walks.

I woke up anxious this morning, anxious to get weighed in. I had my mind set that I wasn't going to lose anything based on my past weeks temptations. I was very happy to see a weight loss of 4 lbs! 

It goes to show that even though there will always be temptation, I don't have to give in. Yes I had ribs slathered in BBQ sauce, yes I had chocolate cake, but that didn't stop me from eating healthy meals through out the day, and it didn't stop be from being active despite not having time for a walk, no excuses! I danced, when no one was looking, I chose the stairs instead on the elevator. One bad meal didn't lead to a bad day, I never let my small defeats defeat me. They happened and I got over it!

This will be my last week on 1200 cal/day, starting next Friday, it's Optifast, 4 times a day, and nothing else. I'm actually looking forward to it. I've noticed that I've started to stray a little on my food group allowances. The first week I was strict, last week, not so much. My three tsp of oils/fats may have reached 5tsp. My 7oz of chicken/turkey or fish became 10oz and I included pork, actually I just finished some pork.

My willpower will be a life struggle, but as long as I can learn to mange it, I'll be alright. The shakes won't give me the option to add more meat or fat, it's a shake, it comes form a packet, pretty simple! 

I'm at 264lbs and I'm hoping to be under 260 for the start of Optifast next Friday.

3-2-1 Go!

Week two ended on a great note!

Where do I start? I'm feeling great! This past week has had many challenges, but with it came amazing rewards. My blood pressure is down and at a great number, 120/72! 

I was a little nervous about stepping on the scales. Not because I didn't follow the meal plan, and not because I didn't exercise. I was afraid that there wouldn't be a change, and even though it shouldn't matter, it matters to me. I get quite defeated when I don't see the scales move and it's usually and excuse to say "the hell with it, not like it matters what I eat". Well it does matter and not seeing the scale change is much better than watching it go up. 

7lbs is a lot for one week, but cutting myself to a 1200-1400 calorie/day meal plan was quite a shock to the system, and I did expect a decent loss considering the amount of walking and activity I do in a day. This week my body will be more adjusted and comfortable with the limited calorie intake and my expectations on weight loss won't be so high. 

At 268lbs, I'm 8lbs from the number that I stall on, 260....for some reason I get to this point and fall off the wagon. I'm eager to get past this number so I won't have to revisit it ever again!

The group meetings are quite a help with motivation, everyone's dealing with the restricted diet in different ways, and it helps knowing that there's many different struggles when trying to attain the same goal. Some people had trouble staying under 1200 while others didn't. I had trouble with grains, and others had trouble getting enough meats. It's a learning experience, and I'm glad I have the support from a great group of individuals.

Cheers to this week, and bring on the next one!

Weekend conquered!

I was a little nervous about my first weekend on restricted calories, now that it's Sunday evening and can breath a sigh of relief, I made it! 

The weekends have always been my downfall when it comes to eating out, but somehow we managed to stay home for every meal, we even had the chance to cheat when in Bayer's Lake Saturday afternoon. I will admit that I did ave one sample while at Costco. Damn you sample people!!!! 

I was finding it quite hard to get my daily grain quota consumed and my meat allowance just wasn't cutting it, so I incorporated quinoa for supper this evening. I'm also going to try oatmeal for breakfast a few times this week. I've never been one for straight up oatmeal, so I'll try adding yogurt and berries to help with the flavor.

I managed to get a walk in everyday, easiest form of exercise, and it's free!

Now for some much deserved TV time. 

It's true, I'm not alone!

Last night was our second week in the program. We got to know each other much better and had a chance to share stories. It makes the journey a lot easier when you have so many people around you who are going through the same thing. They've all got the same story, too many yo-yo diets and quick fixes. We're all in it and for the next year, that's 365 days together...following strict diets and helping each other through the process. 

My 1200 calories a day has arrived! I was doing pretty good last week, I was able to keep my meals under 1200, but the 2 cream - 2 sugar coffees I was enjoying were adding up. That all ends today.

I didn't get the results I was hoping last night, only down 1.5lbs, but I won't dwell as it doesn't help at all. Today I keep on trying, that's all I can do!
I walked every day last week and plan on doing the same this week and every other week this year. I find getting out for a walk helps on so many levels. There's the obvious physical benefits, but there's so much. The quiet and calmness of being on a nice wooded trail, listening to nature. I some how manage to rid my busy brain and take it all in. It doesn't matter that I walk the same trail every day, go over the same bridge, pass the same house. Everyday is just as beautiful, not matter what the weather. Passing people on the trail and having a little chat, it just brightens my day! I feel more active the remainder of the day and a walk always helps me sleep better. These are all the things I run through my mind when I'm sitting on that couch procrastinating!

This program is just the beginning of a journey that I'm planning to continue for the rest of my life. Eating healthy is not to loss weight it's to maintain weight and stay healthy. This is the way it's going to be from now on. I won't always be on a 1200 calorie diet, but my food choices won't change, what I learn over the next year, like portion control, choosing the right foods, getting enough water etc,..that will remain FOREVER.

This is it

All the anticipation. All the excuses to eat bad and smoke more.

It all ends today.

Tomorrow my diet is 1200 calories a day.

No more double doubles to get me through the morning.

No more quick fixes at the fast food spots.

No more cooking indulgent meals 5 out of 7 days a week.

I've done all that I can to mentally prepare for this, the rest of my life starts now...

This gets better everyday

I started this week with a headache, and I felt constantly hungry. I'll admit I wasn't feeling very positive. I managed a walk everyday, but my energy levels were deprived. After four days of restricted calorie intake (1800 or less) and I'm feeling much better. Headaches have subsided and I'm feeling much more energetic.

I'm anxious for Thursday evening to arrive! I don't know if they'll be weighing us every week, but I'm hoping they do. I like to see progress.

I was reading ahead in the optifast binder, this coming week we'll be talking about journals, and how to write them. One approach is the gratitude list, you write about things you're grateful for everyday.

I'm already keeping an food journal via myfitnesspal.com, and I keep Daly notes on mood and exercise, as for getting my feelings out there, well I've never really been one for divulging on my life, mostly because I don't want to bore people!

If past life events have caused my weight gain, then yes I will stay a little more in tune with my food cravings and why I have them. Maybe it'll help get to the root of things and if writing things down helps, well I guess you'll get to hear all about it!

1200 calories.... Harder than I thought.

I've succeeded today, in keeping within my 1200 calorie limit, and man was it hard. This makes me a little worried, knowing that I'm  reducing it to 900 in a few weeks. I'm really hoping my body adjusts because the hunger pains I suffered through today wasn't fun!

For breakfast, I switched to egg whites, and lost the cheese in my omelette.

Lunch was leftover chicken and quinoa.

My afternoon snack included a coffee, a danette chocolate pudding and a few raw almonds.

Supper was half a plate of green, consisting of steamed broccoli and beet greens. A 1/4 cup sweet potato and 4 oz of boneless skinless chicken thigh.

Let's hope I make it through the night without a midnight raiding of the fridge!

Less than 24 hours before it starts

So here we go,

I've eaten every possible food that I know will be restricted for the next year. Pizza, Steak, Ice cream, wings....you get the point. I've got my armband charging and I've logged back into my fitness pal and updated all my goals.There's no going back now....wish me luck!